1. Don't store condoms in a glove box or in your wallet, condoms
hate heat! Also, don't use condoms past the expiration date and don't open condoms with
your teeth.
2. If
you're using a Latex condom, don't use oil based lubrication such as skin lotions, baby oil, Vaseline ® or cold cream - the oil in
these products weakens the Latex. Always use water based or latex compatible lubricants
with Latex condoms. If you must use oil based lubricants use polyurethane
condoms, these are safe to use with oil.
When the time
has come to cover your Captain (Captains at full attention and ready for battle).
"RIP" open your favorite condoms
package, being careful not to use your teeth place a few drops of your favorite water based lubricant inside the tip of the condom.
Never let your Captain touch your partner before he is securely covered.
If
your Captain is intact (has a foreskin), put the condom on with the foreskin pushed back.
After you have Rolled and are covered, push the foreskin forward (toward the tip). This
lets the foreskin move without breaking the condom.
(Optional
but recommended) Place more water based lubricant on the outside of the condom. Remember,
"Wetter is Better".
If at
any time during battle your Captain is ambushed (the condom breaks or comes off), stop
immediately and pull out. Wash your Captain and put on a new condom.
 After
your Captain has won his battle (after intercourse), you should hold the condom at the
base and pull out slowly. This should be done while your Captain is still at attention.
Throw
away the used condom in the trash, not the toilet. If you
choose the toilet they will come back to haunt you some day. Trust me, the last thing you
want plugging your plumbing is used condoms!
Never
re use condoms, use a new condom every time you have contact.
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